Are we clear?

I was standing in line at In-and-Out Burger yesterday. The man in front of me was ordering for his wife and himself. He ordered a #3, which is a burger, fries and medium drink. Then he ordered a second batch of french fries and another drink.

The burger meister behind the counter began to read back the order to verify that he had gotten everything. He said, "That's a burger with (blah, blah, blah), two fries and," when the man interrupted to say, "no, I want one order of french fries. Doesn't the #3 come with fries?"

The burger meister said, "Yes, it does."

The man said, "That's what I thought, okay."

The burger meister then begins to repeat the order again, "Okay, that's a burger with (blah, blah, blah), two fries and," when the man interrupted to say, "no, I want one order of french fries. Didn't you just say that the the #3 comes with fries?"

This goes on for one more round as the burger meister is wondering if he is in the Twilight Zone; each time he patiently says, "Yes, it does." Watching this was like watching the famous Abbot and Costello comedy sketch, "Who's on first."

In the end both the burger meister and the man ordering reach a point where they just accept that the order will be whatever it would be. The man ordering did not understand that even though he ordered a #3, the burger meister was going to itemize the order without any reference to a "#3." Consequently, the man thought that he was getting a #3 AND two orders of fries.

I then placed my order and stood around waiting for the food to be prepared. The man who had the fries dilemma was waiting as well. I noticed that he was now studying his receipt. I assumed that he was pouring over it hoping to find that extra order of fries. I don't believe that he was finally clear until his receipt matched the food that he received.

Although this episode was mildly entertaining, while at the same time a little irritating, I wondered how many times this same thing happens every day. All it would have taken to help this situation was for one of the parties to ask for clarification. The burger meister could have explained that there were two fries total. The man could have asked if the "two fries" included those in the #3.

How many times do we fail to recognize that we need to stop the process and ask for clarification? Many times we forge ahead allowing our frustration and anger to build to the point where our emotions block productive action. The angrier we get the "righter" we believe we are in our position. We suffer under the delusion that the other person sees and understands the situation just as we do. Instead, there is often a significant difference in what we each bring to the situation.

Consequently, each party can end up thinking, "If this person would just wise up a little, we could solve this!" ODGeek believes that it just might be true. If each party had the capacity to step back for a moment, they could gain more insight and wise up - things could change.